"So, you're a doula? That's like a midwife, right?"
August 22, 2017
Prayer for Transition
October 15, 2014
How to identify a supportive care provider?
September 5, 2017
Listening, to help your client achieve the birth they desire
October 21, 2011
As a doula, my job description includes many many areas if expertise. One of the most important things that I am required to do is provide custom care to each mother based on her individual wants and needs. Many times it's hard not to project my ideal birth experience onto my clients. After all of my research and all of the birth's I've attended, I have in my mind this idealistic beautiful birth that I want for every client. Simply because I want good things for them. If someone comes to me and says, "I want a natural childbirth," I automatically have my preferences for them. But what that looks like is different for every mother. Robin Williams once said about his mother that, "My mother's idea of natural childbirth was giving birth without makeup." Every person has their world view, their expectations, their desires, and their comfort zone when it comes to planning their birth experience. My job is to help families achieve a positive birth experience and have confidence in the choices they made along the way, not to force my ideal birth experience onto them. My job is to hear my client, and know where they are coming from. Understand them. Understand where they are now, and where they wants to be. An important skill I have to master during every conversation with clients, is listening. When I shut my mouth and let my clients talk, it really makes a difference during the birth experience. When I've heard and understood what they've said, let it resonate for a few months, and prayed about their words; I can truly be of service during a birth. Then they have the birth experience that fits their personality, instead of my ideal birth experience which is best for me.
Even though birth is doing something very physiologically similar in every birthing person that experiences it, just as each experience is similar, they are different. Birth is about so much more than the physical experiences we endure. This is a rite of passage that makes parents. As doulas we should treat this experience delicately, and allow each client the freedom to birth their own way.