The birth of your baby is a very intimate event. Many people worry that a doula might replace the role of a partner at the birth.
Your partner or you might be concerned that the doula might encroach or exclude the partner during the birth. But when you ask most people who have had a doula, they will usually tell you the opposite. A doula is there to support both of you during this time. This experience is not about the doula, it is about the parents. Your doula is there to support your wishes during this time and a good doula will act accordingly. One of our goals at Advent Birth Services is to help facilitate and encourage your partner when they are supporting you so that this experience can help build a firm foundation for your growing family and bring you close together.
Doulas can help your partner be as involved as they are comfortable being. If your partner wants to be the primary support, your doula will facilitate and help create an atmosphere that encourages and focuses on your partners strength in supporting you.
If your partner is a little bit hesitant or squeamish in supporting you, your doula can help be the primary support, and encourage your partner to participate in ways they are comfortable. A doula’s presence means that you have the support that you need while your partner is free to respect his or her own limits while supporting you in labor. It also means that you will have continuous support throughout labor, giving your support team adequate breaks.
Doulas help partners by: Some things that might encourage a good relationship between you, your partner, and your doula:Communicate
Stepping in when your partner needs a break.
Offering suggestions to your partner so that they might comfort you adequately.
Providing reassurance to your partner for the support they are giving.
Providing an objective viewpoint with evidence-based information to help you and your partner navigate your options.
Some things that might encourage a good relationship between you, your partner, and your doula:
Communicate freely and respectively. Be honest with one another about having a doula as well as all of your options in birth. This is the beginning of many parenting conversations you will have, and this effort is building a strong foundation for many years of parenting ahead.
Discuss your expectations. Share things that you do want or do not want. Be clear about what you want your doula’s role to be at the birth so that there are no misunderstandings.
During the birth, if you see something the doula is doing that you want to try (massage technique or pressure technique), as the doula to show you how.
Don’t be afraid to ask for privacy at any time during the birth. Privacy helps labor progress! A good doula will respect your needs and will not take it personally. It’s YOUR birth!